Ack. I'm falling apart. I thought I was coping well with the whole Robbie going off to Portugal for two years thing. Coping, hah - denial. Well, he's currently on his way (today he flew from Mississippi to Atlanta and is on the Atlanta to Baltimore flight as I write this and will leave from Baltimore to Lajes Field tomorrow at 1:40pm Eastern time) and so denial just ceased to be a viable option. I'm trying to come up with another workable option, but my usually inexhaustable well of happy thoughts is suddenly coming up dry - I can come up with happy thoughts, but they pretty much all just link back to him which consequently just makes me sad again. I'm only just starting to realize how much I've come to rely on being able to talk things over with him, all the little things in life that beg to be talked out but don't really interest anyone but you, and if you're lucky, someone who really cares about you. Hopefully I'll be a little better tomorrow after I get some sleep, I only got maybe 4 hours last night because we went late to the airport to pick Sonia up after her 6 weeks in Bangladesh. I should be really happy about having her back, and I am, but right now it isn't as much fun as it will be since she was travelling for more than two days straight plus having to adjust to an 11 hour time difference and is consequently not a whole lot of fun yet.

I still haven't quite gotten over the whole shock of him leaving so soon, he wasn't supposed to go until the 16th, but he graduated early and they decided at the last minute to put him on tomorrow's flight over to Lajes (he had like 3 hours to pack!). So he called all of a sudden (while I was helping get food ready for a friend's wedding tomorrow) and told me he was on a plane. My first thought was that maybe somehow he arranged to come back up here, which made it even worse... Sigh. Sorry to be going on and on about this, but it's rather traumatic for me and hey, you were warned (see title of blog...). Probably I'm just being overly dramatic about the whole thing. I'll be busy most of the time with school and stuff, have some fun times and some sad times, talk to him and email and stuff as much as possible, and eventually he'll come back. Just reminds me of a song I know though, '...I'll smile from time to time, and sing a song, cause life goes on, but it won't mean a thing, without you and the love you bring...' which is of course a rather melancholy song... Man, I can't believe I'm sitting here quoting songs and all that sappy junk, I'd better stop now before I start making up my own poems or something...